Sincerity of feeling, intent and presentation touches the hearts of everyone. But what exactly defines sincerity? And how do you achieve it? No other formula exists for sincerity than to be sincere by being genuine, having faith and trust in yourself, and just being rather than trying to project something that you are not.
1. Act the same way alone as you do when in the presence of others. This is the real you and this is the person that people will warm to and trust. If you try too hard to be what you think other people want to see in you, the result will not be sincere and you will spend a lot of time projecting a persona that is not a real part of yourself. That is not only hard work but is ultimately insincere.
2. Do things out of the goodness of your heart; don't seek a reward or do things to acquire things from people. When you give without expecting the boomerang effect to occur, the giving becomes an act of sincerity and an expression of your genuine concern for and interest in others. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others, and people who do this will engender a sense of rapport with others.
3. Understand that sincerity comes from the heart. Whatever you do or say, it is vital to mean to do or say it and to back it up with your beliefs. You cannot be sincere if you say you like chocolate when you hate it. You cannot be sincere when you compliment someone but deep inside you detest him or her. You cannot be sincere when you apologize just for the sake of disarming the person that you offended, with the motive of future revenge, but you can be sincere if you are truthful to yourself.
4. Don't do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. If you are placed in a situation that requires you to offer compliments or to express your opinions and tastes but you feel hampered by "white lies", there is an easy solution to this. Only choose the truths. For example, if you are called upon to give a speech about a person who is someone you would rather not be anywhere near ordinarily, choose things about that person that are good. List at least three things which you know to be good about that person and develop your speech around the good points. This will help you to speak genuinely and from the heart.
5. Realize that sincerity can expose you. Opening up to others about your feelings, motives and aspirations can cause some people to react in insincere ways and to try and drag you down. If you are forearmed to expect this possibility, then it will come as less of a shock. Remain calm and non-confrontational when faced with such responses. There are reasons such as insecurity and anger that lie behind the inability of some people to cope with sincerity and to abuse you for it.
6. Use positive affirmations. Always seek the good in you, in others, in situations. Try to place yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they are coming from. When negative connotations arise, use your positive affirmations to override the negatives and to try to find the silver lining in any situation. Sincerity thrives on effort to think the right way.
7. Don't over-polish things. Sincerity is about immediacy, spontaneity, spur-of-the moment responses that well up from your genuine self. Polishing responses (whether by e-mail, speech, letter or otherwise) often removes the sincerity and replaces it with overlays of caution, attempted perfectionism and maybe even sugar-coating. The difference is detectable by the recipient and can mean the difference between you getting that deadline shifted, getting that job, getting that understanding you so very much need... or not.Edited by Dave Crosby, Will, Rob S, Billy Stone and 18 others