Today I am writing on an issue that I have been thinking of writing for a long time. It is the issue of a situation when what you say or do is taken out of context and blown into a mountain. I am sure that all of us have gone through this at one time or the other in our life and if you are one of those lucky one that has not.. it will come sooner or later.
Think of a situation where you say something to a person and after a few days you find that the whole meaning of what you said has taken a different shape not to the person to whom you said it but to all those who came to know about it later. I have had a number of instances where this has taken place in my life. Trust me it hurts a lot because you now realize that you have been made a monster even though all your intentions were always good. You might have had the best interest of the person to whom you said but the world looks at everything in the color that it wants to see. These kinds of instances drain your energy and make you think where I went wrong. Many a times you do or say things to a person because you feel you can take the liberty to say it. You will be surprised that it may not be taken in the same light in which you might have said.
Now the important question for all of us to think of is ..Why do people do such things? Well there is a lot of fun and joy in talking about others. This is more so because every person can have his or her own interpretations of what has been said. There is nothing surprising about it; historically we have been doing this. I can give you evidence of so many different versions of the Bible, the Quran, and the Geeta. These are different interpretations of what we as human beings considered that the all mighty or the messenger said and that is how our society gets divided into smaller communities with different belief systems. So think of this, if we as humans can have different interpretations of the God/messenger, then why it would be difficult for us to interpret what we say or think about things that we express in our daily life.
I have always felt that people have their own agenda to carry forward. In most instances there is conflict between the agenda that one person wants to take forward and that some other person wants to take forward at the same time. This conflict, results from the self-centered approach that most people have towards life and work. So what is the purpose of doing something like this? Is there some material gain in it for the person in question? Well I personally don’t feel that there is but not everyone may have the maturity to understand that. That is where all the problems start and life begins to become more complicated. So I am here, listing things that you can do at individual levels to keep away from the negative force of taking anyone out of context.
1. Always remember that people define their limits of thinking by the way they express things in reality or in different situations. Don’t count it against them, give them space for some time and they will realize it.
2. People love talking good things about themselves and negative about others (there are always exceptions). Sometimes people can show themselves as being good only by showing how bad others are. This is what I call scoring points not due to you. Such people have not done much in life and they take shelter under the roof of relative comparisons.
3. Don’t get upset about what they are doing. If you do, they win and you are on the losing side. Keep your cool and do not get angry, be nice to them as you would be under normal situations (I know it is difficult).
4. Every person has a limit to their understanding which is a result of their upbringing and the environment that faced while growing up. We need to give benefit of doubt that it is not a well thought of strategy but just something resulting for past experiences.
5. You don’t need to say anything bad to those who have taken you out of context. If you do then there is no difference between you and them.
Next time when you begin to interpret what someone else has said, wait for a while, take deep breath and ask yourself am I being hard on others. Your life is important but so is others, protects the reputation of every person and you will always fly in life. Let’s leave everything to the day of final judgment.