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Wednesday, November 16, 2011


On an average we meet more people in our life who have done good for us or at the least they have never done anything to hurt us in anyway. It is also true that some people who have come in our life have causes us a lot of stress and may have lowered our image in the eyes of the people around us. But I am confident that if we take account of all these people we will find that those that have done well to us will be much higher than those who have hurt us. Even then most people tend to begin to lose faith in friends, family and relatives because they were hurt by the actions of one person from among the hundreds that they know.

Today while I was in my thinking box, I remembered a once close associate of mine who worked with me. I started thinking of my discussions with him and started recollecting what he told me. Before I go any further I want to tell my readers that I do trust people and sometimes I trust them more that I trust myself. I have believed that it is a good practice to begin by trusting everyone until there a reason not to trust them. I have never regretted this policy and it will stay with me to the end of my life. This does not mean that I have personally not been hurt by people; this is because of that very reason.

I want to share a story of a people who had been associated with me and what transpired during that period. The first person let’s call him “Sir X”. He worked very closely with me in administrative positions. He was very good to me all the time that he was with me but he changed as soon as I left the organization. He had so many things against me that he talked to others. But my world is so connected that everything came to me through some means or the other. Fate would have it such that he lost his job and I had to help him get a job again. I thought to myself should I help this person? The inner voices within me said go ahead and do it and I did it because I did not want to punish his family for his deeds. But old habits are hard to change and he was back to his old ways talking ill of me. Well, again fate strikes and he lost his job. He came to me and asked for help, I told him that I am going to help him but I want to know why he was doing what he was doing. He said he was sorry for what he had done and that he is ashamed of it. I told him that I wanted to know more about my weaknesses and that I was only human and I could be doing something wrong and may be hurting him unknowingly. He had no answer to my question because what he was doing was part of his genetic make and maybe he had no control over it. I spent the next few months having good discussions with him and got him a new job. He is doing well and has not adjusted to his new life very well. The question that comes to my mind has always been ..why did I help him despite what he was doing?

When I reflect back, there is only one thing that made me help him in all instances. It was just that I wanted to make a difference in his life and to his family. I still trusted my instinct that I could change him and I am glad that I tried and today he is so different.

This to any person could be considered as a bad experience and the first response would be to try and hurt him over and over again. But I wanted to rise above myself and wanted to see life in a new perspective. Today, I am glad that I did what I did and he leads a happy life. Now there are two ways of looking at this series of incidents. The first and the expected response is a tit for tat policy and the second is what I did.

Think about it, has anyone done wrong to you? Have you been cheated? Has someone spread wrong information about you? Then forgive them and go your way and don’t give a rent free space to them in your mind. I know you will say it is not east to do that and I agree with you. But remember not everyone is made to do difficult things in life, only some of us can do it and that is what makes us so special in this world.

There is another aspect that I want you to think about. Should I stop trusting people because I had one bad incident in life which I was able to salvage and make a better life for the whole family? I have always felt that trust is a pre-requisite for a happy life and we must continue to search for reasons why we need to trust people. Also remember that one bad experience cannot be used to punish a whole generation of people who now cannot be trusted because of one person. The most important thing to remember is that you are the master of your mind and you can twist it the way you want. Don’t become a slave of your mind but try and make your mind work according to your command. Trust people they are all good and they need a second chance in life. Don’t we all at some point need a second chance in life…..

Happy reading and all the best…